Visit me at my new blog Sweet Violet Photography

Sunday, September 18, 2011

He would have been 19 today...

Today I'm remembering my baby brother, Ian who would have been celebrating his nineteenth birthday today.

I was nine years old when he was born

I was a mini-mommy to him

Here he was the ring bearer at my wedding

He was Beth's favorite uncle

On January 3, 2009 my sixteen year old brother committed suicide. 


He was a strait A student and a Boy Scout, he wanted to have a career in the military. The last time I'd talked to him he was telling me about the girl he wanted to marry... no one saw it coming.  One day he was celebrating the holidays, and his girlfriend's birthday - the next day he was gone.

Please, don't forget to tell your kids how much you love them.

Don't forget to let them know that even when they get into trouble or give you grief that they are still loved and wanted.

Give your son or daughter or sister a brother a hug today, just because they're alive.

And if you are considering suicide, or struggling with thoughts of suicide. Please, speak up. Ask for help. I've been there and I know how hard it is to admit it when you're in that dark place. I know it's so difficult to speak the words - but please please  don't go another day without  asking for help. On the day of my brother's memorial service there was a large church filled with people who would have done anything to save his life.  I am sure there is someone in your life who would do anything to save yours. You are loved even if you don't feel like it, or the people around you are making it impossible to believe at the moment. You are important and there would be a big, ugly hole in the world without  you. Keep holding on.

26 comments:

Beth P. said...

Oh Faith, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been there - not with family, but a close friend, and agree - someone wants to help you and loves you - always. Thank you for the reminder.

rachel bee said...

So sad, Faith. Praying for your comfort today.

Dorian Susan said...

Hi Faith. Sending warm thoughts and virtual hugs. Must be a difficult day each time it comes around.
Two suicides of distant acquaintances in the past 10 days in my area. So sad. Thank you for bringing it up front and "speakable". These two men's deaths also were not hidden or shunned.
I have been dark, not this dark, but dark where hanging on is all you can do. It is hard to say it, even now. Thank you for writing this...I hope it helps someone on the edge. I hope I remember it if my darkness comes stongly again.
Now I see why you have so many beautiful babies...you are a natural mom right from the start. Hoping today finds happy moments amongst the sad.

Erin said...

I'm sorry. He was a beautiful boy. Praying for you today...

SarahinSC said...

I am so genuinely sorry for your huge loss. Suicide is so hard to handle for those left behind. Ten years ago my husband's very close cousin (16) commited suicide. He too was a boy scout and seemingly had a wonderful life. NO one saw it coming. It is still devastating to the family to this day. THank you for sharing your story. It is one that needs to be told!

Iowa Sunshine said...

i'm thinking of you today, and especially as i walk through this morning's rain for the 'out of the darkness' walk which raises awareness about suicide. i will write ian's name on my sign. i love the photo of you holding your baby brother -- your smile is one of joy and protection! sending care, karin.

rachel said...

I'm so sorry, Faith, for your loss. I lost my baby brother suddenly as well. Mine was 11 years younger than me, but also the ring bearer in my wedding! ; )

Life With the Crazies said...

This breaks my heart. Thank you so much for sharing. He was so handsome. Thinking of your family today on his birthday.

Kaymee said...

oh i'm so sorry sweetie. Big hugs to you!

Amanda said...

May God fill your heart with His peace today.

BARBIE said...

Oh Faith, I am so sorry. It's so hard to understand what would bring someone to take their own life, when everything appears okay. Sending hugs to you and the family today.

Margaret said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Tezzie said...

A powerful post...even though your handsome brother couldn't be saved, I'm sure you just saved someone's life with your words. Lots of love to you and your family on this difficult day.

Mira said...

So sad Faith. Thank you for sharing this story with us. Stay strong. :)

Yvonne said...

Very well said, Faith. We miss your sweet brother too. Recently, I was going through some photos of ours (before digital!) and found a sweet picture of Ian and Robert at Family Camp in Pennsylvania. I would love to share it with you, if you'd like. He looks to be about 5 or 6 years old. We always loved him!

Jamie Rubeis said...

I am so sorry for your loss Faith. Sending love and prayers out to you and your family.

Joni said...

my family had to deal with a similar issue nearly nine years ago with my step father who committed suicide. although i do not blame myself or anyone else for why he took his life, i personally have always wondered what i could have done differently to prevent it. you are in my thoughts and prayers.

mommy of Five said...

Thank you for sharing your heart and your lost with us. your words are so true...i had a nephew who had just turned 15. and no one saw it coming... but if one person knew they could have helped him....it hurts when a love one ends this life like this...there are no good-bys and so many unanswered questions...everyone who reads this post and these comments, please let your loved ones know they are loved..don't just think they know let them hear it from your lips.
praying for you.

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
Praying for you and your family.

G'mom Becky said...

Thank you for posting these sweet memories of Ian ... and the words of wisdom too. Just what I would have said (if I had a blog!)
Love,
Mum

Jodi said...

Oh my gosh Im so sorry for your loss :(

(((hugs))) to you and your family.

Miggy said...

;*(
*hugs*

alita jewel said...

With the deepest of sympathies, and prayers of love & peace- I'm thinking of you today Faith.

I hope your heart heals with every passing year until you see him again.

Sarah said...

I am so sorry for your loss Faith. How heartbreaking. Praying for you.

Abi said...

Thank you girl, this brought tears to my eyes.

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry Faith. This is sad beyond words. And as a parent, so scary that kids can be hurting so much and we can not know. Thanks for sharing. XO