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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Confessions



Confession: I have been the hugest grumpy-uffagus lately. It's easier to blog about it than it is to apologize to the people who have come in the path of the grumpy-train and been hurt. I've had to do a lot of that lately. I'm claiming that it is PMS. Since I haven't been getting pregnant regularly, like I was the last eight years of my life, my whole cycle is getting harder. I'm also SUPER tired. My husband is probably ready to stop hearing me say that every time he asks me how I'm doing - but he keeps on asking so I'll keep on saying it. I'm just so tired. Every day. I can vaguely remember being more tired than I am now - sometime in the days of nursing infants - but I don't have any kind of excuse like that. If it's not PMS, it's depression - and I really don't want to deal with that right now. So here's to hoping that after my monthly gift has come and gone I'll be back to my normal(ish) self!

Confession: I've been getting upset at the silliest things lately. For example, one of my photography students has launched an online photography class. I just found out about it this week. I knew this day was coming, it just surprised me that I would care so much. It made me mad at first, then scared, now just vaguely upset. Grrrrrrr.

Confession: I feel like God must be letting out some hot-air in my fat head, or more likely popping the zit on my white head. I can literally feel myself deflating. You want to know something. It is surprisingly freeing. When you come face-to-face with "you're not all that" and "you're so imperfect" and you say "I know" it's really liberating. Sometimes I feel weighed down with guilt because I don't always handle the insanity of life with the grace that I want to but it is humbling and at the same time freeing to know that this is part of what it means to be human and no one is exempt from that.

Confession: I am banging my head against the wall (figuratively, not literally... yet) trying to find ways that my family and I can become more generous people. I've been super-challenged by the book I'm reading called Radical. There is SO much I want to do, so little I feel able to do. I know it's a process of obeying God one step at a time but I'm just over the wishing I could do something. Daniel and I are kicking around the idea of doing a 30 Days of Nothing type experiment, or at least for a week, to encourage our kids to remember how blessed we are and to remind ourselves to be grateful for what we have, and to try to do a little good to the needy in our area and around the world. I'm still working out the details...

Confession: I love running! I still totally suck at it, but this week I sucked a little less than I did last week. I am actually looking forward to going to the gym now- and not just to create a little bit of quiet space in my evenings and/or mornings. I got some great advice from J. and took it slow. I also dug my ear buds out of a box and downloaded an awesome worship CD onto my phone. I already knew most of the songs from church but it's nice to be able to listen to them through the week too! Having something to listen to other than the beat of my own heart helped a lot. My goal was to run for five minutes and this week I made it to SEVEN oh yeah! My next goal is ten minutes.

I LOVE reading your confessions. If you want to - link up below.

Some weeks it might be rather trivial and superficial other weeks it might be deeply personal, or spiritual. I know that I am the most encouraged by other bloggers who share their lives graciously yet openly, I am comforted by knowing that I am not alone. There are other women, all around the world, who share common struggles... and joys. So let's gather our confessions together and confess that life is hard, we make mistakes and that's okay.

6 comments:

Jhen.Stark said...

My husband and I are reading "Radical" as well and it is so challenging the heck out of us! But I love it!

Audrey @ TheDailyWyatt.blogspot.com said...

I like this linky... I sometimes need to do a little confessing. ;)

Jessica said...

Great post! I don't think I'm ready to link up this week....but maybe next. I think its a great idea!
I've been doing Virtual Coffee Tuesday which is somewhat the same....I may have to make a switch for a bit.

Erin said...

I need to do this but I'm scared to do this ;) It's nice to get it off your chest though!

Jeanette said...

I love reading your posts. You are so real! I agree, it helps me feel like I'm not alone when I read how others are struggling with some of the same things I am!

Ruth said...

Okay, so I'm a week late, but better late than never, right?

I still love this idea, and I love reading your confessions. So refreshingly honest! Way to stick with the running!

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