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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

things I have learned from my stressed-out week

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If you read my post on Monday you would know that I have been super stressed out lately over trying to get a babysitter for this weekend. I learned a few things this week and I thought I would write them out.

{one} I DO NOT like asking for help. I like being the one who says "sure, I'd be glad to watch your kids" not the one who is calling every friend, friend of friend and person-I-just-met-five-minutes-ago to ask if they can recommend a babysitter who can watch my kids.

{two} I tend to think that if I pray enough about something that God is somehow obligated to answer me in the way that I want Him to. I prayed a LOT about finding a babysitter, but I found my prayers changing from "God please please please GET ME A BABYSITTER!!!" to "God help me to be submit to Your will, however this ends up, even if that means I stay home from the Women's Retreat." because it's one thing to think you know what God's will is, it's a whole different thing to submit to what His will actually is. I felt really strongly that God wanted me to go to this retreat, so I tried to pray in faith that He was going to provide for me, even as it's getting down to the wire, but you know sometimes I get these things wrong and sometimes I need to get a lesson in life not going my way.

{three} I can expect to fight for every spiritual step forward that I take. I am about a third of the Christian that I used to be. For the last five years life has knocked me down and run me over, over and over again. There have been highs and lows in this gut-busting walk with God but I feel like after getting knocked down over and over that I'm finally back on my feet now again in my faith, but I'm like the roadkill Christian, with tire marks on my face taking the baby-steps in my faith all over again. And as I'm taking these baby steps I have to fight not to fall back down again, or retreat back into what is comfortable. This week I thought for sure that I was getting sick. I had this HUGE headache for two days strait and the tickle in the back of my throat that says tells me I'm coming down with something. I think it was because I was SO stressed out, but I also have this feeling like I'm walking upstream and fighting to take this next step.

Well, I've got babysitters now - it took three to cover all of my kids for all of the day - but it's finally worked out. I am really thankful and looking forward to this women's retreat!

7 comments:

Nat said...

I'm happy to hear that God heard your prayer. Love the picture, I want to blue mug. :)

Erin said...

Hi Faith! I love your "lessons learned" post. Your #3 lesson reminds me of a song my MercyMe called Back To You. You should Google it and listen to it. It's one of my favorites. Also, you aren't alone...even when you fall down. Keep looking to Him.

Nicole said...

I completely understand your first lesson learned. I don't tend to ask for help simply because asking for help is very difficult for me. I'm happy that you have found the help you needed! Have fun!

SouthernSass said...

I can so relate to how you were feeling. I am so happy it worked out for you and I hope you enjoy the retreat very much! God Bless! :)

Erin said...

I can really relate to this post Faith. I am a "roadkill Christian" myself. I am glad everything worked out for you, enjoy!

Jeanette said...

Congratulations on getting three sitters! God does answer prayers and how much better if we get to learn lessons in the waiting period! I totally relate with all of your three lessons but even though I've never met you, I completely disagree with your comment, "I'm about a third of the Christian that I used to be." I'm sure you feel that way, I think we all do at times. I just don't think it's true. Just by your post it's obvious that you are growing in your walk with God and even if it seems that you were more faithful in the past you've come through a lot more at this point in your life than you had back then. The lessons keep coming and faithfulness keeps growing as you learn to a deeper degree God's unending love for you. It's easy to look back and see that child like faith and think you were in a better place then, but I believe that you can rest assured that you are in the place that God has you in and you will continue to become the woman He designed you to be! Have a wonderful time at that retreat. Sorry for being a total stranger and still writing so much unsolicited advice. That sentence just really jumped out at me and I believe that God thinks so much more highly of you than you might at this point.

walshblog said...

I'm glad you were able to get a babysitter. Love this post.