But then I had another thought - people are very multiIlayerd too. I am a woman, a Christian, a wife, a mother, an artist, a homemaker, a friend, a nighbor, a sister a daughter, a chick in the check-out line, a blogger, a very complicated and well, multi-layered person. I thought one way to represent this would be to collect a bunch of my favorite books, CDs and DVDs as somewhat of a representation of my life. I put together the stack of stuff but I'm not very good at arranging thing and I am not very happy with the results.
So I tried it again from more of a metaphorical angle - all of those "layers" are different and influence who I am as a whole, like strands of a multi-colored rug. Being an artist is one strand in the rug of who I am, having it makes me a more colorful person, just like the athelete or the intellectual. This is part of the "weave" of me and I embrace it.
Did you have a hard time journaling about creative shut-downs & "bomb kills"? I did, I have a pretty supportive family and group of friends. After thinking abou it for awhile there were two ways that I kill my creativity that I thought I'd share here. One is distraction it is just way too easy for me to sit down at my computer and kill a whole hour and accomplish nothing at all. That is something I really want to apply to my blogging, I'm not quite sure how just yet. I want to improve the content of my site but I get so distracted that I rarely write down the thoughts rolling around in my head so I end up just posting a photo, participating in a link-up and calling it good enough. But "good enough" usually leaves me feeling stressed out about my site meter report and generally dissatisfied with my blogging experience. Don't get me wrong - I love blogging (obviously) and I adore my readers but I'm sure you can relate to that feeling of "where do I fit in?" And "what will it take for my blog to become more like the blogs I admire?"
That leads into the second reason that keeps me from moving forward creatively - and that is needing the approval of others. If I'm blogging or writing or photographing with the aim of pleasing trying to please others, or more importantly with the fear that other people won't like what I do, then my creativity get's squashed by fear - the fear of not being considered "good enough" by other people and the fear of being dissapointed. I want my photography and my writing to be a real extension of myself I something that I do simply because of who I am and simply because pursuing my creative outlets makes me happy and at peace with myself - that is enough for me, that is where my best work comes from.
I got this great quote today from this daily thought email that I get every day from Real Simple here it is, it seemed perfect for today:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" -Winston Churchill