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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sleep deprived... again

Yesterday I found this neat blog written by a mom with a young baby who goes to a moms group I jut joined. In one of her posts she was writing about sleep deprivation. At the moment I felt well rested, generally, and as I was putting dishes away (at like ten o'clock at night) I was thinking of all of these ways to help and tidbits of wisdom from having been sleep deprived on and off for the last eight years. But this morning I can't remember any of it.

Last night Katie-Abigail had a difficult night and was in and out of our bed plus Josiah was in and out of our bed, plus I had a hard time falling to sleep right away in between getting out of bed. I could feel it in every part of my body when I had to drag myself out of bed, I was constantly falling asleep on the couch as the big girls were getting ready for school. My hat's off to you working moms. I don't know how anyone can hold down a job feeling sleep deprived. I just don't know how you manage. It's amazing just how much we can adapt to difficult situations, but right this moment, I am so glad to still be in my jammies, with a cup of coffee and a nap on the horizon. When I'm sleep deprived every relational crack feels like a canyon and regular, ordinary life suddenly feels ginormous and overwhelming. Sometimes the smallest of things will cause me to feel like my life is over.

I was thinking yesterday too about what Jesus said about the person who tries to save their life will loose it and the person who looses their life will save it. And I was thinking that being a mother sometimes feels like loosing your life. You "loose" almost all your time, a lot of your looks, a huge amount of physical and emotional energy. But I wouldn't trade all that for those moments of snuggles and the "I love you Mommy" moments, or my baby's first giggles. I love that I get to know these amazing little kids, that I get to see the smiles and the silly faces and listen to he silly little stories and pretend that the monsters are coming, bounce on the bed and dance in the living room. Yeah, it feels like giving up my life, but it's also like being given a new one in return.
I finished "Julie & Julia". I have that sad feeling I always get when I finish a book. I felt the same way when I finished "Eat Pray Love" like now what am I going to do? Some of the best parts of this week were spent curled up on the couch reading. I really enjoyed it. I feel inspired to try a little bit more in my cooking, at least every now and then. I feel inspired to blog. I feel inspired to not be afraid to tackle the big things in life... right after I take a nap.
The rose is from my anniversary bouquet. There's lots more on my Flickr site

1 comment:

Briana Renee said...

Just found your blog - love the pics. And the applause for working moms :) I enjoy reading your posts...